Today I received a letter from mom. Although I could not read it, I knew it contained meaningful words. The letter was pure and directly from her heart. Not only was it touching, but sad.

Lately I have been thinking about the "incident." Minute by minute, action by action, regret by regret, I cannot come up with any theory. I know why it happened, but I figure, as J says, had I done something different like brushed my teeth longer that morning, or not have gone another two or three rounds, perhaps my life now would be altered. Then I think of the life I am currently living and feel that I have accomplished too much for me to complain or repent. I have some good things, but I cannot overcome the pain my numb, hopeless heart feels every single day. Life does go on, because we haven't a choice; however, the love and misery never fades. Even when I think I have found myself, I later realize that I cannot escape that moment, ever.

But, there is much for me in this life. God needed an extra hand at that time, and he took the strongest one he could rely on. I believe so. My hand is not in need quite yet; therefore, I will continue with the blessings he grants me.

high-*-dry